You’ll Never See My Eyes

Here’s a looksie back on the first 25% of the year that is passing by oh-so-quickly.

2009
January
Well the New Year started in a snow-storm, and included ‘House’ and chickpea casserole and cuddling with Gina and Lesley. Shabby? Not at all.
LEARNED: All about being a gym-rat. I hired a personal trainer. Like, for actual. My quest to not being so scrawny began last year.
DISCOVERED: ‘Bringing Up Baby’…Joan Baez…ok I’m a few decades behind here. And I was taken to the magnifique Comedy Bar.
SCENE STUDY: 2-part series of ‘DOGFIGHT’…I got to cuss a lot in the first one. And make-out a lot in the second, which also marked my first ‘good-bye’ scene.
SAW: ‘East of Berlin’ at the Tarragon Theatre. Droool.
FACEBOOK STATUS OF NOTE:
-meghan’s favorite customers are the charming gentlemen who pay for the newspaper and then let meghan keep them. the papers, she means.
-meghan accidentally ate the sticker off of a kiwi. twice.
-meghan is going into cardiac arrest because she just fucking talked to JUDITH THOMPSON omgomgomgomg what the what?!?!?!?!!??!?!?! FANGIRL OMG.

NEW YEAR’S EVE!

FEBRUARY
LEARNED: about my bio-siblings! Well, MORE about them.
DISLIKED: North York Hospital.
DISCOVERED: Just how difficult class was going to be on my heart.
ADVENTURED: To UTM where I was puked on by my dear Alison. No one had ever puked on me before nor have I been puked on since!
SCENE STUDY: A BEAUTIFUL MIND.
Also…’50 First Dates’…my second good-bye scene. There is about to be a trend in class of me crying and kissing.
FACEBOOK STATUS OF NOTE:
-meghan is stock-piling for her life!
-meghan is dick van dyke’s valentine
-meghan read once that craving spicy foods is a sign you are emotionally empty and need the spice to fill up. meghan eats a lot of curry after acting class

siiiiiigh

MARCH
“don’t go fighting against the spring”
LEARNED/DISCOVERED: The difference between ‘theatrical’ and ‘dramatic.’ And ‘art’ and ‘entertainment.’ Or how I personally would express this. Now when I go to see plays I think about the theatrical aspects, sets costumes lights physicality…and dramatic, the innate mythic (hopefully) STORY. Story story story. And ART, an expression of feeling, taking us to places and emotions we have been and felt before, and entertainment, which in contrast is an escape from reality. Escaping versus facing.
SAW: ‘Ubuntu’ at the Tarragon…which is what got the conversation of theatre vs. drama going in the first place. ‘Poor Boy’ aka Zuppa Theatre came to Toronto and brightened my life.
ALSO Rebecca Higgs at the Horse Shoe…epic frigging fantastic amazing.
DISLIKED: Epic nights of insomnia. TORONTO. I got reeeaaall mad with the city. And real home-sick.
ADVENTURED: To ImpromTuesday, a drop in class at the Second City. Kayla Lorette was teaching, fucking rad. It was my first time doing any sort of improv in a long time. I liked.
SCENE STUDY: 2nd pass of ’50 First Dates’…first work of ‘AMERICAN BEAUTY’…finally, a FUN scene and I don’t have to kiss anyone! Plus this lead to the friendship of Bianca and I. Rad.
FACEBOOK STATUS OF NOTE:
-meghan is trying to figure out what pair of underpants to wear in front of her scene study class today
-meghan – oh soy bacon, you are my only friend
-meghan is wishing for the dick van dyke to her mary tyler moore

here’s something that happened in march!

APRIL
SAW: Fiona Reid improvise a Tennessee Williams play with 2/3 of The National Theatre of the World. Pardon me? Your life sucks and my life is amazing? Yes. That’s what I thought you were saying. Oh, Fiona Reid, no one can compare to your Martha in ‘Who’s Afraid’.
SAW: UM OH I ONLY JUST SAW KRISTEN THOMSON PREFORM ‘I, CLAUDIA’…fucking…unreal…
ADVENTURED: To ImpromTuesday once more. This time we did long-form. Matt Baram sort of kicked our asses. I improvised giving birth to Frederic’s still-born baby.
APRIL was also the month in which Amanda, Skye and I sat in Fran’s for 10 hours.
DISCOVERED: SYLVIA PLATH POETRY. I had read a few before but in April I bought her complete poems…Life hasn’t been the same since.
LIKED: Kim visiting me!!! There was never more wine drank in my apartment than that glorious 4 days. Best night of all: Frederic and Raquel coming over while she was there. Good good night. ALSO LESLEY CAME TO VISIT…so many shades of necessary! (Necessary?!)
SCENE STUDY: First work of “White Oleander”…and then my partner left class. I’d love to do that scene again…OH! YEAH! Then I did “Hard Candy” which was my first POWER SCENE. Oh…and the GOOD-BYE SCENE FROM HELL…”Good Will Hunting.” The flightiest fight for my life. When I think back on that scene I just see Kit’s arms, his back, his angry angry eye…glass shattering, a shoe flying, and then I stop remembering and feel like weeping all over again.
FACEBOOK STATUS OF NOTE:
-meghan – torturing pedophile, brb
-meghan gets weepy about a club foot, laughs into her wine glass thus the wine explodes into her eyes, then gets on the street car really late
-meghan is the only person who could show up at the gym having forgotten her socks.

The Stones
By Sylvia Plath

This is the city where men are mended.
I lie on a great anvil.
The flat blue sky-circle

Flew off like the hat of a doll
When I fell out of the light. I entered
The stomach of indifference, the wordless cupboard.

The mother of pestles diminished me.
I became a still pebble.
The stones of the belly were peaceable,

The head-stone quiet, jostled by nothing.
Only the mouth-hole piped out,
Importunate cricket

In a quarry of silences.
The people of the city heard it.
They hunted the stones, taciturn and separate,

The mouth-hole crying their locations.
Drunk as a foetus
I suck at the paps of darkness.

The food tubes embrace me. Sponges kiss my lichens away.
The jewelmaster drives his chisel to pry
Open one stone eye.

This is the after-hell: I see the light.
A wind unstoppers the chamber
Of the ear, old worrier.

Water mollifies the flint lip,
And daylight lays its sameness on the wall.
The grafters are cheerful,

Heating the pincers, hoisting the delicate hammers.
A current agitates the wires
Volt upon volt. Catgut stitches my fissures.

A workman walks by carrying a pink torso.
The storerooms are full of hearts.
This is the city of spare parts.

My swaddled legs and arms smell sweet as rubber.
Here they can doctor heads, or any limb.
On Fridays the little children come

To trade their hooks for hands.
Dead men leave eyes for others.
Love is the uniform of my bald nurse.

Love is the bone and sinew of my curse.
The vase, reconstructed, houses
The elusive rose.

Ten fingers shape a bowl for shadows.
My mendings itch. There is nothing to do.
I shall be good as new.