You’ll Never See My Eyes

the detox has come to an end!!! hello, peanut butter! hello, feta cheese! tonight, hell-oooo samosas and chutney!! i feel totally kick started and energized. i still haven’t had coffee, or substance. i wonder how long that’ll go?

so HOME; let’s discuss home.
thursday lesley and i landed and mom, dad and irma were there at the airport. had dinner with mom, dad, irma, my god-mother, her daughter, and my grandparents. hilarious. Allison came over later, for at midnight she turned 19 and we got all drunked up and went dancing at Tribecca.

KATE joined us as well to do some damage.

highlights include epic photo taking with allison, and getting in trouble for dancing on a chair.

friday after a bike ride where i almost wept because it felt so, so good to cycle again, and a massage/chiropractor apointment (my neck is a rock. thanks, toronto.) i hosted our first druncheon. “our” meaning the bestest of ladies, claire, jessica, lesley, slaney and falvey. (missed out on gina, though…)

i just adore them. what a festival of cupcake sandwiches, meatless balls, hours upon hours of drinking sangria…and classic conversation ranging from john mccain to kittens inspired by kittens.

friday night was rhys and andrea’s house-warming party which means i got pretty faded and marveled at all of the wonderful people i missed who seemed happy to see me. (valentina and i decided we needed to make up for all the hugs we missed out on while i’ve been away so throughout the night one of us would yell “SPONTANEOUS HUG!” and we’d embrace. decadent!!)

saturday i biked to meet lesley at the market where we saw mary-dan playing the fiddle, robyn selling vegetables, and jackie torrens being awesome. wired monk for muffins, then to the theatre school where i grew up to sit with jessica and loiter as we have done for the last 6 years of our life. saw many a familar, beautiful, smoochable face.

then i biked to the ferry and went on the ferry to dirty dee to see INTO THE WOODS and got to watch beautiful people on stage and laugh my fool head off with keelin. sushi with dad followed, then to KERRI’S, who was one of my room-mates last year. her cousins and friends who i became friends with last year came over. claire came, too, and kate leth with david bowie make-up. adrian brought tequila.

i would tell you about the rest of the night but i honestly don’t remember much and it freaks me out. i know once we went out to RETRO NIGHT we met up with some of my friends from high school, lesley and her cousin, and i danced the night away with a stranger. but seriously. i was a wreck and don’t think i’ll be drinking for a long, long time.

sunday mother’s day so OBVIOUSLY had brunch with my hero martha irving and my other hero maddy, psuedo sister poet. (martha’s daughter.) hero-licious. falafel and eggs, pancake good size, a fort of menus and salt shakers, um, and probably the classiest gift i have ever received. a clutch that held a beautiful painted bracelet and hanky!! i love them so, so much.

mom and irma and i went to see a play in the early evening that was soooo nova scotian i hurt from smiling at it. then mom and i had thai food, and i hung out with my soul mate kelin in the second cup on spring garden with tea and mike&ikes. i got home and convinced etta to come over for an impromptu hang-out at 11pm, and fell asleep happy and heart warmed, my last night of 19.

monday; my birthday! rode my bike to dartmouth with sarah dee!

we went to see the house her & her boyfriend just bought, then we had tea at the papier chase because it’s not halifax unless i go to the paper chase, people!! i proceeded to visit citadel high, even though i didn’t go there…but they closed my high school and so people who taught me are there now. before i even got into the building i was hugging mrs. cowan, pretty much my bff in grade 12, and mr. coats, my drama 10, 11, 12, dance 11 and poli sci 12 teacher slash improv coach (when he showed up) slash school father…siiiigh. i missed them too much! falvey met me because she goes there. how i love her.

that night was the most hysterical dinner of all time.
my mom, my dad, irma (my mom’s partner), nancy (my step-mom), pat (step-brother), both sets of grand parents, my god-parents (who are now divorced), and their daughter/my life-long friend. i am so blessed that these people can all come together despite how awkward it sounds, to be with me. and it’s not even that…everyone gets along and laughs and shares and talks and is a family.

that night i met up with gina and lesley for martinis and swedish berries at the bitter end. beams are gonna blind me. being apart from them physically hurts. it was short but (bitter) sweet. we’re all away together though…gina in the states, me in toronto and lesley in rome. (jerk.)

tuesday was my last day…micaela came over for breakfast and we made eggs and had cornbread and jam, coffee and hot chocolate and gelato. we made up for lost time and put on stupidly funny accents and she made me a huge list of bands and singers to check out. i asked her to live at my mom’s house with me in july if i go home for the summer because mom&irma will be at the cottage…we’d have a pretty wicked home together. maybe i should just marry her?? elle oh elle.

halifax ws really good for my self-esteem. it reminded me i have so many people who love me, and who i love back completly. they are all different, different people, different loves, but they are my family. i remembered how much fun i am capable of having no matter where i go. i came back to toronto feeling way less meek, way less silenced. i am pretty smitten with toronto right now, but halifax will always be home, and i am so proud.