You’ll Never See My Eyes

life has been bundles of confusion, energy, mud, airplanes, pot, shakespeare, ginger ale and madness. there are not enough bicycle rides or journal entries or dance classes (yet!), but there are a lot of people to see and a lot of things to talk about.

biggest and best would probably be; Honey&Jupiter , my first play that I directed at the Atlantic Fringe Festival last year, is going to be preformed in Winnipeg this fall at FEMFEST. I am elated…first professional production at a festival run by the President of the Playwright’s Guild of Canada! I get to work on the script with a dramaturg and everything…so, so excited…and scared…and excited…

I am now home in HALIWOOOOD teaching me some Shakespeare. The students are two 15 year olds and four 14 year olds, all girls. They are all on very different maturity levels and theatre levels but they are all keen and hungry to learn, they make me well up with happy tears on an hourly (yep, hourly) basis.

I saw my favorite band live for free yesterday. METRIIIIIIIC. Yeah they are my favorite. I have been an anxious crazy the last week or so (lack of working out makes me want to cry all the time. No, but really…) and i feel like listening to Metric is one of the only things I can do to manage the blues. I love them bigger and badder than anyone else who loves them…yep, I went there. Unfortunatly me and Mic made some unwise choices we feel we’ll laugh about in 20 years before Metric played, so I spent the first half of their set paranoid, lost in the crowd, and with a ghost-white face&blue lip combination. But by the time Sinclair found me and we rocked our faces off together, I was rejuvenated by the magic that is besteverbandever.

tell me you aren't blown away by how fucking brilliant they are

Today I had brunch with Kim, who gave me a very Alice dress. This was perfect as I then went to dirty Dtown for a tea party at Kelin’s. Kelin is like every Joni Mitchell song blossomed into a beautiful blonde artist in a white dress and pearls, who gives the best hugs and makes the best cookies. Like that. I needed to see both of these ladies really bad, so it worked out well.

ANYWAY. I wrote a poem tonight called EDGE and it is going to speak for me now. Read and enjoy.

On the verge of on the verge of
Somethings on the verge;
Pain.
Words fester…
Silence,
Blank pages disguise pain,
It’s white noise.
On the verge of
Screaming tears.
I wish with all my made-up might
To uncloak the sorrow
Dig my nails in scratch off the mask
Uncover the words
Unbury the words
Scratching the surface
Where I sit so square
Play so safe it hurts.
Keep so quiet I choke.
Sit so still I ache.
Unable to
Get off the verge and
Dive in
Crash
Rinse refresh
Instead I let my mind rot
Words fester; Tangled language.
A rat’s nest sits where my heart used to wheeze.